A few years ago at a conference, a young man approached me and asked if I was ready for my presentation. I squared with him (for emphasis) and replied, “No, sir. In fact, I’m worried about it.” He looked a little stunned and said, “Why?” “I’ve never done this presentation before, I don’t like the flow of the material yet, and I’m concerned it’s going to fall flat when I deliver it.” Looking aghast, he said, “But… you’re Andy-frickin-Leonard.” “I’ve been trapped in here with me for several decades and I am not impressed,” was my reply.
I’m always nervous before presenting, but that’s not what I want to write about this fine morning. I want to write about…
Pride
I’ve been dealing with my pride for a while now. I didn’t see it as that big of a problem until recently, though. Like yeast working its way through the entire lump of dough, a little pride never remains little for long.
Two months ago I wrote Social Media and Me. As with every story, there’s more to that post than I’ve currently shared. I’m not going to share all of it here, and I may never share all of the story. Suffice it to say that the story began some months before that post, and that it continues after this post.
I like learning stuff. Why? I’m not entirely sure of all the reasons – at least not now. But I can tell you part of the reason is that I like to understand how things really work. It’s a quest for truth for me, and one of the reasons I’ve started referring to myself as a Data Philosopher (I’m not smart enough to be called a Scientist). I’ve recently discovered another part of the reason is that I like being right. That doesn’t mean I hate being wrong – I see being wrong as necessary to learning what’s right. Mistakes and failures are part of life and engineering and philosophy, so I promise I never hated being wrong.
I really enjoy engineering because it provides a framework (the scientific method) for learning what’s right. One can still make mistakes applying the scientific method – like asserting a premise – but, the scientific method is a good way to discover more accuracy. I believe accuracy is underrated but that’s another post…
Empirical vs. Imperial
My decrease in social media participation was driven by a realization that I didn’t care what others thought about what I wrote. That’s ok when I’m writing about engineering because (hopefully) I have evidence to back up any premise I assert. It’s not ok when writing about politics, however, because people have reasons for believing what they believe. I have no convincing evidence that I’m right and they’re wrong. But to help, I was spending social capital gained from sharing experience in the pursuit of knowledge in some wild attempt to prove the unprove-able (without the lens of objective history and hindsight). What was I trying to accomplish? At the time of this writing, I cannot honestly answer that question.
I’m thankful some friends helped me see what I was doing. Am I done yet? Am I better? I am not done. Not by a longshot. I am maybe a little better. I’m definitely more aware of my pride and its role in my past behavior.
A New Beginning
One aspect of my faith (Christianity) is the concept of new beginnings. Lamentations 3:23 states: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” An interesting thought, especially in a book titled Lamentations.
In an effort to address my pride, I promised to never again comment on political posts on social media. Do I have political opinions? Yes. Do my opinions align with the worldview of most? Nope. Is that going to change? I don’t expect it will. Will it change because I wrote something on Facebook? Definitely not. If anything, Facebook entrenches opposing opinion, it doesn’t change it. “I read your comment / post and decided you’re right and I’ve been wrong all this time,” wrote no one. Ever.
So I’ve stopped posting on politics.
Not So New
Having a few months perspective on this decision provides the insight that this really isn’t such a new direction. The past few years, I’ve been led steadily and unswervingly away from doing stuff that doesn’t produce change to doing stuff that does. I had a pithy and intentionally-offensive term I used to describe non-productive behavior that merely feels good. It applies to my previous behavior but I won’t repeat it here. I will simply state, “Guilty,” and move forward.
This book, Unoffendable, helped me a lot. It’s a book written from a Christian worldview perspective. It doesn’t even try to address change outside of the perspective of Christian faith. Ironically, that may offend some.
I already knew I didn’t have a right to judge others. I did not realize I do not have the right to be angry. I knew pride is a killer. I did not realize how my pride was feeding my right-to-my-rights.
What Am I Doing?
One thing I’m doing that will help is serving people in Honduras. I’m looking forward to another opportunity to help. I’m thankful for the opportunity and the ability – neither originates with me; both are a gift. You can help, too. That link will take you to The Honduras Project page. The Honduras Project does awesome work helping the poor in Honduras.
Andy-Frickin-Leonard?
I don’t think so. While I am humble about what I’ve learned and share regarding technology, I was anything but humble about my political beliefs. I was doing social media wrong. It still happens from time to time, I slip and post politically. I continue to work on it.
I still believe in doing business personally (and disagree with those who say, “It’s not personal, it’s business.”). That means I’ll continue to mix my faith and business, and I’ll continue to believe that’s a good thing in any field – but especially in the field of data where integrity is important.
And the young man who said that to me? He knows better now. I’m not anything special – with technology or anything. I make mistakes, I learn stuff every day, and I’m growing right along with everyone else. I have such a long way to go.
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Don’t beat yourself up when you find yourself immersed in a political discussion on social media. It will happen from time-to-time. I’ve tried a similar approach as you’re taking (with the exception of veterans’ issues… I can’t leave those alone because of my brothers and sisters in arms), and I still find myself drawn in on occasion. When I realize that has happened, I try to gracefully excuse myself from the conversation.
No reason to be humble about anything. You ARE Andy “Frickin” Leonard, like it or not. So when someone asks you if you’re ready, tell ’em hell yes you are. It doesn’t help anyone–INCLUDING YOU–to play the “aw shucks” card in that scenario. We all know who you really are. We all know you’re ready. Even you do. Own it.
That goes for your politics, too. I absolutely don’t agree with you on many issues. But I’ll be the first to say that you should own your views and argue vehemently for them if you feel the need. If people don’t like you for it, too bad. They can unfollow you. That’s the beauty of social media. No one has to keep listening if they don’t want to.
Cultivate YOUR audience. Not my audience, not the audience someone else tells you to cultivate, and CERTAINLY not the audience of people who are happy enough with Andy “Not-So-Frickin” Leonard (i.e. some guy who comes off as meek and never tells it like it is). That’s doing social media RIGHT. And you already were. Carry on.
–Adam
Thank you, KBK.
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Adam,
I agree that I make no one listen. I think that was part of the reason I was blind to caring to begin with. If I don’t like it I change the channel. In the case of social media, I turn it off, unfollow, unfriend, and – extremely rarely – block.
Your support and advice mean a lot to me, sir. We do not agree on many things, but I sense the mutual personal and professional respect. I hope you do as well.
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PS – It was good to see you in Boston.
Andy, great post! Not everyone is going to agree with your personal belief system, but I can say that people who know you respect your ideas and opinions because you show respect for the differing opinions of others. There’s a real difference between the thoughtful position presented and a raging bully. Thank you for always being the former.
And… I think that next time I get nervous before a presentation (which is literally every presentation), my internal battle cry will be something along the lines of, "I’m Audrey-frickin-Hammonds!"
Andy, great post! Not everyone is going to agree with your personal belief system, but I can say that people who know you respect your ideas and opinions because you show respect for the differing opinions of others. There’s a real difference between the thoughtful position presented and a raging bully. Thank you for always being the former.
And… I think that next time I get nervous before a presentation (which is literally every presentation), my internal battle cry will be something along the lines of, "I’m Audrey-frickin-Hammonds!"
Andy, that’s a lot to absorb. I’m glad to see that you continue to grow. If I can offer an idea that may or may not apply, it’s that it’s tough to know what the right lesson is to learn from any given event. Avoiding pain is a useful survival response, but not one that always serves us well over the long term.
Be well.
Andy
Andy – I have been following you for a lot of years and REALLY respect you. But I think your conclusion here might be a bit off base.
Maybe we don’t share our thoughts on politics (and religion) so much to change other’s minds as to strengthen and encourage those who agree?
Encouraging other Christians is a good thing. Encouraging us to follow Christ and be humble is a good thing.
But not sharing what you think – that may be a bad thing overall. If the only people who share politics are those who are beligerantly ‘right’then the world sees a very sorry example.
And yes, I think you are Andy-frickin-Leanard and that is awesome!
Hi Andy
This is a great post, thanks for writing it!
I want to comment on this idea:
“I read your comment / post and decided you’re right and I’ve been wrong all this time,” wrote no one. Ever.
You might be right about this, but the fact is that people do change their minds, about some things, some times. Sometimes very slowly, sometimes dramatically quickly. And we don’t always know exactly what prompted the change. But it seems that an idea expressed from the heart will have a greater chance that people will remember it and think about it later, than an idea expressed with nastiness and accusations and judgment. So my advice is to feel free to express what is important to you. And I have no doubt it will be from the heart, because… you’re Andy-frickin-Leonard.
And I get nervous before presentations too.
~Kalen
Thank you, Kalen!
I think (and hope) I’ve told you many times that you’re one of my technology heroes. I was stumbling and fumbling my way through my very first real data warehouse project, reading your (awesome) book Inside Microsoft SQL Server 2000 (http://smile.amazon.com/Inside-Microsoft-SQL-Server-2000/dp/0735609985), when I was offered the opportunity to attend the PASS Summit 2004 and – if I wanted – a precon. I chose your precon about SQL Server 2005 performance hoping you would cover some SQL Server 2000 performance (which you did – thank you!) and learned bunches. You remain one of my SQL heroes, ma’am. I so appreciate all you do for our community. Thank you for your advice (I agree), your transparency, and for taking the time to comment on my post.
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Cheers, brother, and best of luck.
I’ve learned a long ago that everybody’s got the right to be wrong, and you can do nothing to make them "right". It doesn’t work when you try to change their minds on heated subjects, like climate change or vaccination (or religion, for that matter). It doesn’t matter whether you try this in real life or in social media. It’s worse in the internet, because you’re gonna be shouted down by many at once, and because in the internet the argument can persist far longer than in real life (and is stored there forever). And there are many clever-clever smartasses out there hidden behind their monitors, often just trolling for fun. They’re rather not good interlocutors.
I would extend your promise to also include not reading about politics. Because from reading there comes willingness to write.
I prefer to spend my energy elsewhere. Like learning SQL, Biml or other stuff, or just have fun with whoever/whatever you like.
Forgive my English, it’s not my native language.